The best person to tell you how to be a good and supportive parent is not an expert or guru. It's your child. A child can tell you the best way for them to grow up and become successful adults--listen. Parents should recognize the qualities their children need to grow up healthy and happy, then mirror those qualities on their children as often as possible. Your job is providing care that makes your kids feel loved and teaching them skills that could make all of their hard work worthwhile in the future.

Parents are an excellent book for helping their child's best advocate and follower. It's about learning to listen and teach your children so you can help them learn new skills and make better decisions when they are older. The book does not talk about parenting in the objectionable way that some readers do; instead, it focuses on teaching better habits and helping your kids learn how to make hard choices.

1. Respond to your children's feelings and needs.

Please don't ignore them or make them disappear by changing the subject with something else or telling them they are unimportant. Instead, acknowledge their feelings and discuss why they have those emotions. Listen to your child during an encounter and give them a chance to be heard. Acknowledge their desire for attention, for approval, for being understood, and unjudging listen to what that means to them.

2. Let your kids know how much you care about their future.

Tell your kids how much you appreciate how hard they work--for the most part--and what a big part of that hard work is. Most importantly, tell them how important it is to learn what they need to know to grow up happy and well-adjusted adults. Too often, we are too worried about our kids' immediate needs and what their future might bring, forgetting that the present is the best way for us to influence the future. Your kids need to hear you express appreciation because it lends credibility to their choices later in life.

3. Talk to your children about their choices.

Talking about making choices is a healthy way to help your children learn decision-making skills. Tell your kids that they are in charge of how they want to live their lives and how they want to interact with other people, that you will always be there for them, but it is up to them what they do. Please discuss the pros and cons of different choices and the good and bad things that might happen from their decisions. Take their concerns seriously, but make sure that you are not overly worried about whether or not you think one choice is better than another.

4. Teach your kids how to be patient.

Show them patience when they are young by telling them they need time before they become adults--and teach them what it means to wait. Show them that it takes time to get what they want, to grow up, and climb the ladder of life. Teach them by example and show them how things work to help them understand that they can't do things the same way as everyone else.

Shoulder workouts for parents is an excellent book for helping parents be their child's best advocates and followers. It's about learning to listen and teach your children so you can help them learn new skills and make better decisions when they are older. The book does not talk about parenting in the objectionable way that some readers do; instead, it focuses on teaching better habits and helping your kids learn how to make hard choices.