Perhaps I’m just too self-conscious, but the idea of sitting in front of a computer with a load of toy controls is akin to scooting around the backyard wearing a plastic fireman’s helmet.
I’ve always thought that to cross that line would mark a slow but inevitable descent into madness. I have this fearful image of eking out my remaining years in the secure wing of a mental hospital, with only occasional visits from my six children: Charlie, Juliet, Mike, Oscar, Romeo & Victor (they just call me papa). I will have small gold wings pinned to my pajamas, and every so often a nurse will come in to wipe the spit off the computer screen as I continue to make aeroplane noises with my mouth. But my concerns have proven to be unfounded. My virtual life has entered a new phase, with the help of real people.
You see, I have received feedback to my previous articles from simmers all over the world. It seems that we all derive a different kind of guilty pleasure from simming, at varying levels of obsessiveness. I no longer worry too much about what is normal. (I do however worry about the guy who spent hours flightsimming while at work; but the good news is that he is receiving treatment.)
For me, flightsimming is a bit like learning a musical instrument. An all consuming, very satisfying, total waste of time. For real pilots, there is a real purpose as they practice various maneuvers to perfection at home, before going out and fouling it all up in real life.
I have met up with a couple of local FlightSim.Com members. One is a student pilot who spends hours practicing circuits in a Cessna in his living room every night of the week but apart from this he seems quite normal. I have already learned so much from these guys! The three of us have exchanged books and videos, I have subscribed to Computer Pilot magazine and best of all, I’ve been taught how to download aircraft from the Internet.
I now have a huge choice of jets to fly, courtesy of FlightSim.Com. I have aircraft with animated leading edge Kruger flaps, pop-up spoilers and night lighting effects. Some of these aircraft are really nice, some have very suspicious flight characteristics, and some are actually unflyable. But even the simplest models with no moving parts are useful for conversion into FSTraffic. I’ll tell you more about this later. Anyone can use this site to put out feelers and get themselves in touch with flightsimmers in their own immediate location. It’s certainly worth it! You never know, there might be another Peter James living in your street! And of course Peter James may turn out to be an axe murderer, but with the possibility of such a fountain of knowledge so close at hand, why not take a risk? (Peter James has to jump in here, Bill. I once had a friend of mine, Bruce, whom used to be super-obsessed by simming. He used to sim from 5 pm when he came home from work, to about 3 am every day. He ignored his wife and young child. Then the next day at work, he'd have a "flightsim hangover". He'd repeat this until the weekend, at which time he'd sim from 10 am until 3 am, both days. He used to invite over strangers, ones he met at the local mall's Babbages. Complete strangers would come to Bruce's! His wife learned of one stranger coming over one Saturday afternoon when I was there flying too. "Oh, honey, I met someone at the mall, he's on his way over, is that okay?", he'd say. She flipped out, "what if he's an axe murderer?!" Ding dong, the doorbell wrang. It was a preacher. He was the flightsimmer Bruce had met. He was no axe murderer! Far from it. But Bruce likes to swear casually all the time. They were friends for many years after this, despite his wincing when around Bruce when his causual "naughty words" were aimed at the Red Baron, or some other WWI ace. Bruce was really into Red Baron, and would put on a pair of goggles, wear a scarf and even have a fan blowing in front of his monitor for the effect. What a pair! I guess Bruce's wife always knew where her husband was. - Peter
Now, back to FSTraffic: Here’s bit of obsessive behavior that will be appreciated by only a select few anally retentive personality types. You see, I’ve actually started to "manage" my FSTraffic aircraft selections! By this I mean that I convert or uninstall the aircraft from FSTraffic that are appropriate to the airport that I am approaching. After all, I wouldn’t see a Silkair 737 at Chicago would I?
That’s the thing about striving for realism. For the unreasonably persistent, the focus gets narrower and narrower all the time. And I should know! I created my own log sheet back in February 1999, initially to check the time taken to travel from one city to another, and to track the amount of fuel needed for each trip. I feel a little guilty now when I look at the thick pile of log sheets on my desk. These have now expanded to include weather information at the departure and arrival points, the waypoints along the track, the fuel burn rates at different flight levels and so on and so on. I actually counted up the hours spent on the flight simulator over that 20 month period. I have decided not to publicly reveal the grand total in case it is used in evidence at some future divorce hearing.
The plan for the next phase of my virtual career was to be a scenery designer. However, this has come to a screaming halt after buying the Airport & Scenery Designer package. You see, I desperately need to meet up with someone who can demonstrate to me how to use the ASD. So far as I can tell, an extremely high level of proficiency in the management of computer files is demanded of anyone trying to use the ASD. Of course, if I already possessed these skills I probably wouldn’t have needed to buy this utility at all. I could easily download and install all the free scenery packages that I needed right here at this web site! But as things stand, I am overwhelmed by the complexity of this device. In spite of the very best efforts of the technical support staff at Abacus, I am stuck with a package that, so far, I haven’t been able to use.
And it’s a problem, which has led to the formation of the Flight Simmers’ Clubrooms. It operates a bit like a fitness club. Payment of an annual membership fee allows you to book blocks of time using the club’s flight simulators. "But Bill", I hear you ask, "why would I want to pay for a hobby which I can enjoy at home for free?" Because you are guaranteed uninterrupted flight time on state-of-the-art computers. There are Jeppesen maps at your disposal and instructors on hand to help you with all aspects of flying instruction, even scenery and panel design. You are in the company of people who all share a common interest. Before you ask me how you can join, here is the bad news. The Flight Simmers’ Clubrooms exist only in my imagination.
Sorry about that. Now I can hear footsteps outside in the hallway. I think it’s the nurse coming with my medication.
Perth, Western Australia.
