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Damned if it didn't do it to me again. No, that's not quite accurate. They did it to me again.
You see, being one of the masochistic bunch who are simply incapable of deciding which flavor of FS they prefer to fly, I take the chicken's way out and opt to fly both FS2004 and FSX. Sure, this is a "double your pleasure" type of deal when all is rosy and running well. It is a double step into poop when they both decide to holiday within the same week.
If you nose around a bit, you'll find a bunch of old Corner articles that FlightSim.Com has been kind enough to post. All manner of bits and drivel that just sort of spilled out as I sat pecking away through purple hazes of various pharmaceuticals. Life is what it is, so what can I say? Anyway, I'd take you to the URL wherein all my stuff has been compiled, but that would be the height of hubris and I simply will not participate in that kind of over the top self aggrandizement.
(Master index of Corner articles)
As I recall (which is really quite funny, as I'm fortunate if I manage to remember if I've put on underwear in the morning), one topic which we've visited is the tendency of we simmers to continually pound stuff into our FS world until, ultimately, it groans in agony and then collapses into a heap within our hard drives. Nasty when it happens. Truly nasty when it happens within the same week, on both FS2004 and FSX. Such is my sad and sordid state.
I mean, when FS2004 decided to throw in the towel on me, I just accepted it with a wry smile, knowing full well that I have FSX on which to depend. Sure, there were a couple of things that I would miss terribly, not the least of which was my beloved PMDG 73X series. But, I figured I'd press on like a good little digital pilot, and rely on my 'X'. Who then decided to join its brother in repose, gave me the "one finger salute", and displayed on each startup the dreaded blue screen of death. I'm not sure, but I think this is the equivalent of FSX mooning me.
So, here I sit, pondering what next to do. As I said, we've been down this road before. And apparently, I learned nothing from previous disasters. Is not a definition of insanity the perpetual repetition of a behavior, all the while anticipating a different result despite history to the contrary? Well, I'm afraid I'm certifiable, at least where FS is concerned. Oh great. I'm an FSNut.
I consider myself quite fortunate to not only own both FS2004 & X, but also a machine with the cojones to run each of them with the sliders maxed. Amazing how that fortune so easily evaporates overnight, as I experience each of my versions of digital flight virtually leap out the window, leaving me with nothing but some old shooters, a disk defragger and if I'm lucky, a version of air combat. But it's been so long since I really got into any other genre of gaming that I'm sitting here looking quite perplexed and lost, a small waif adrift, flotsam in search of a way to get my damn flight simulators to run again. What, in the name of all that is holy, does it take to get FS to work in harmony with all of our crappola?
To make matters worse, I offer this for your consideration: I imagine this is a global phenomenon (but of course, I'm an FSNut so what do I know?). Everyone, everywhere, just has to experience this every once in a while. I am certain I am not alone. I am, at this very moment, sick and tired of Flight Simulation.
Geez, that collective gasp damn near sucked my keyboard into the monitor! But it's true. My tolerance for my beloved hobby seems to be ebbing. I've found myself being snippy to the flight attendants, telling the passengers if they don't like my flying skills they can bloody well get out at FL 320 and walk the rest of the way, and I've actually found myself talking back to the air traffic controllers. Have you ever enjoyed the satisfaction of landing your aircraft despite being told clearly by the controller to "go around"? Yes, something is seriously amiss.
It is often said too much of anything is not a good thing. Having not been in the position of having too much wealth, health and fame, I cannot comment on this axiom in its entirety. But I can tell you that, for all my goodies, doo-dads and eye candy, I just can not face another flight. Not now. I think this is called FSBurnOut. An FSNut with FSBurnout. Definitely time for a large amount of FSMolson, I am thinking.
I'd like for you to stretch your imagination for just a moment, and try to envision a freakish point in time at which virtually every stapler on the planet simply ceased working. Zip. Nada. Can you conceive the mass hysteria? Something which was, no longer would be. Something which was not, would remain forever so. No stapling. No papers held conveniently together in nice, neat little packages that, if you are anything like me (you know, thoroughly anal retentive), would be stacked in happy, smiling, precisely evened and stacked unison, held ever thus by a nicely folded little tube of malleable metal.
Freaks you out just thinking about it, no?
You see, some things are simply taken for granted, despite our best efforts otherwise. Some of these are truly important, like, say, your next breath. With that, anything is possible. Without it, well, I guess I wouldn't sweat paying that electric bill. Others not so important, such as which piece of software will best suit my desire to fly The Beatles all over the UK (sad, but true). (Admit it. You're gonna do a flight or two with a turboprop on which you've just lovingly painted "The Beatles". I've done a couple. Want one?). Regardless of the level of importance, the inclination is to believe the car will start when one turns the key. Sometimes, though, the starter makes a funny noise and then becomes ominously silent.
So, I've got two versions of what are perhaps the finest flight simulation programs available today, that have gone belly up, pushing up daisies, joined the choir invisible (shamelessly pilfered from the Monty Python Parrot skit). I'm burned out. And I've got too much stuff to cram into both versions of Flight Simulation even if they were working at the moment, which they are not. Truly this situation cannot FSSuck enough.
What is a dedicated SimPilot to do?
Well, my common fix for FSBurnout has always been to find more stuff to jam into FS. My favorite remedy, to be sure, but sort of in conflict with my FS crash problem and my too much stuff problem. But of course, like any good FS hobbyist, I persist in my quest and have found a solution of sorts. I bought more stuff.
Like many I am sure, those of us who happen to be FS hobbyists also have a couple of other interests that are always simmering somewhere. I happen to enjoy learning as much as I can about the great steamship Titanic, the Civil War (an oxymoron if ever there was one) and World War II. Do you have any idea how many pieces of software are available for these particular areas of interest? Mind boggling.
So what I've done is to branch out just a little, and I've littered my hard drive with several (moderation? I'm familiar with the term, but the definition is a little fuzzy) WWII "shooter" programs, a smattering of Civil War programs (those guys were nuts), and am still trying to find a decent program involving the Titanic. There was a cool spy-type program that involved that majestic ship, and I still have it somewhere, but it was for Windows 95 or so, and besides I can't find it anyway.
I've invested time and treasure learning and applying lessons learned in beating the daylights out of bygone enemies: Germans, Japanese, Rebels, Union. You name it, I've shot at it. Not only good fun and challenging in a hand-eye coordination sense, but also delightfully so when I find a program that permits me to place into practice techniques such as enfilading fire, flanking attacks and the like. I don't believe anyone involved in real conflict would describe their experiences as anything relating to "fun" (except for you crazies who are often heard saying "I haven't had so much fun since 'Nam), but for a middle aged, overweight and out of shape couch potato like me, any learning experience is a good one.
And the real kicker is, I'm finding myself being slowly drawn back to the yoke. I suppose Man's desire to take flight is indeed ubiquitous. Sooner or later, and probably the former, I suspect I'll be itching to perform yet another delete/install cycle of 9 and X. And I'll face my nemesis: which software to add and which to leave be. I'm fairly certain sooner or later, I will make every effort to install all of it.
Eventually, I suspect almost every FS hobbyist will find his or her desire to fly wax and wane. When it does, stay cool, don't fret about it. Just take stock of that which "floats your boat" and see if somebody, somewhere has developed a piece of software that permits you to do what would otherwise be impossible to do, flight or otherwise. Croquet on Jupiter's third moon, anyone?
Three Green!
Chip Barber
rfbarber@optonline.net
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