 |
|
|
|
|
While there may be more poignant questions posed to mankind, considering the earnest look in the eyes of my grandson, I felt it was a question that warranted some type of response. Of course, knowing them as I do, I strongly suspect that behind those inquisitive puppy-dog eyes was in fact my daughter Sarah and son-in-law Mitch, encouraging the tyke to "bust the old man's shoes". So be it. I mumbled something incoherent and finished up with the old "Pull My Finger" trick, and he toddled away satisfied, if no less educated, from the encounter.
Putting aside the mechanics if you please, I've come to believe that the makers of that icky hemorrhoid creme are conspiring with those who produce Reader's Digest. Anything short of an acknowledging nod of agreement means you've not spent sufficient years in that certain brand of reading time. It is here that throne time merges with flight sim time. I'll bet you didn't think that could happen.
See, the thing is, hobbyists in general have a thirst. Some (like The Boss) have a thirst for the adrenalin rush that is quenched only by jumping from a perfectly good airplane. I keep reminding her that when jumping with the instructor and the chute fails, to flip over just before impact to ensure the jump master really earns the jump fee. Of course, when closely examined, skydivers' hobby is nothing other than falling with style. Thanks, but I think I'll limit my falling to that accompanied by impact with the small animals that populate our home, or the odd grandchild or two. The adrenalin rush is still there, but it's of shorter duration even if it does entail the occasional bump, bruise, fracture and trip to the Emergency Room.
A thirst indeed, to be satisfied by the ingestion of knowledge regardless of its application to one's life experiences. Knowing the proper steps necessary to start the APU in a Fokker 70 is just dandy, unless one finds oneself trapped in an elevator with several other people dangling 30 stories or so above the concrete stop at the bottom. Explaining to the nervous gathering of unfortunates that if only you could apply your ability to fire the engines of a Boeing 736 in an effort to improve the situation just may earn you a quick trip to that basement, sans elevator car. Likewise knowing the location of every constellation in the Heavens. I like star gazing as much as anyone, but knowing how to "follow the arc to Arcturus" will get one only so far in life, particularly if one's pants are on fire.
I like to think that I keep my eyes open to what's going on within our hobby. Certainly, I watch several forums on a regular basis. If you do the same, you may note with joy how the antics of the "flamers" have died down some. I'm thinking those idiots whose thirst was more for causing a ruckus than learning something about our hobby finally grew weary of being derogated, and have gone on to greener forums in which to spew. Man, even that word seems positively filthy, doesn't it? The net affect of this is that the great majority of us have been able to slake our thirst at our forums, exchanging ideas, tricks and files and all the while having a jolly good time doing so. I must, however, relate this story:
I was involved in a beta forum for a project that shall not be mentioned, in which I sort of got into a "discussion" with another member over the subject of navigation. Well, this guy described how, when flying for VATSIM, he'd been offended by a newbie pilot who was trying to learn the ropes. In fact, he became so incensed that he took it upon himself to aim his aircraft at this poor unfortunate soul and crash into him at every opportunity. And he was relating this story, via open forum, in an attempt to defend his position vis-a-vis his acceptance of newcomers who might benefit from his knowledge (should he be so inclined to offer it). Now, it is rare when the kettle pronounces itself black, but it did my old heart good to see this ignoramus shoot himself in the foot.
Anyways, we all have our reasons for our hours before the yoke. Thanks to my buddy, Ray Lunning, I've begun to get a handle on VOR navigation, along with the generosity of Steve McNeilly. It's funny how, when one finds oneself with waning interest in flight simulation, something inevitably comes along to stoke the fires. Take, for instance, some of the hardware being hawked at various FS clearinghouses.
Being a gadget freak, and a flight sim freak (to say nothing of being a general, all around freak), I am particularly enamored with anything I may push-pull-click-rotate-knock up-pull down and generally just mess about with, particularly when I see a resultant knob or switch activate on-screen. For the longest time, these delightful pseudo flight panels were the purview of either the wealthy or the seriously-in-debt, and usually found within a serious replication of one flight deck or another. To my delight, Saitek and others have begun manufacturing mass-producible panels of sorts that, while not exactly photo images of any aircraft you'd be able to name, at least foot the bill for the need for knobs. Check out the FSPilotshop, and you'll see what I mean. I tried desperately to finagle my way into getting one in exchange for shamelessly shilling the product, but no dice. I had to buy one. Just HAD to. Put down that knife, Honey!
You know, it's damn time consuming typing with less than the normal allotted number of digits, but they tell me once the swelling goes down, I'll be back to speed in no time. Not too sure about that wild glare in the Boss' eyes, though...
But anyway, it seems that any sort of dedicated search of our FSWorld will result in one finding some new sort of gadget meant to emulate a panel, or some part thereof. And damned if the stupid things don't add a little something to the illusion of flight simulation. Yep. I hate to break it to you like this, but all that zipping around, well, it just 'aint real. But that's the beauty of these panels. It all seems just a teensy bit more real than flying without one (or more). Not unlike using a joystick or yoke/pedals combo. You know you're just sitting on your keester, with the television droning on somewhere, but with all these cool gadgets and add-ons, we are brought to new heights of elevation (damn, that's clever). Put one of those move-around head thingys on, and try not looking out the flight deck window at rotation and tell me you don't feel at least a teensy little tummy flop as your main gear releases from the concrete! I mean, it's sensation like that which keep us opening our wallets for anything, anything that will enhance that sensation! $1,200.00 for that panel? Where do I sign? (ducking)
So, I suppose that regardless of where we wish to spend some "butt time", the trick is to make it as poignant as possible. I'm not suggesting there is poignancy to be found on the "home throne". But considering just how much time is spent there, I'm thinking a laptop on my wireless network with which I may do my perimeter checks just may be what the doctor ordered. I wonder if he gets royalties from those icky suppository thingys?
Three Green!
Chip Barber
rfbarber2@verizon.net
Previous Corners
[ Back
| Home
| Main Menu
| Logout
]
Copyright © 1996 - 2012 by FlightSim.Com, Inc. All Rights Reserved.